On the first day of medical school, my new classmates and I were herded into an amphitheatre and shown a welcome video produced by and featuring former students. In one part of the video, a young man being interviewed says helpfully to the camera, "I think intelligence is an aphrodisiac." At this, many members of our audience laughed nervously -- could it be true? was there hope yet? -- and adjusted the lanyards around their necks.
In the several months that have passed since then, I have had ample opportunity to reflect upon this statement. I am most commonly moved to reflection while in the basement of the school library, standing before a vending machine with insufficient change clutched in my fist. Are 'Famous' and 'Amos' supposed to rhyme, I find myself longing to know? Is intelligence more or less of an aphrodisiac than green M&Ms? My mind reels, but seventy cents won't get me any answers.
Fortunately, the time I've spent in the library has not been entirely a waste. Every room and corridor -- excepting the basement, which evidently vends nothing but disappointment -- offers promise of a new breed of intellexuals. If you see them, you will recognize them: they are the hot little numbers with nice boots and too many ideas. From across the table they turn you on with their literacy, leave you breathless with their rapid typing. Like sirens, they draw you close to show you the answers they've written neatly on their problem sets. Their shiny hair gives off the fragrance of victory.
Sometimes it can be too much. I once witnessed an intellexual pull out a Nature paper and whisper to the guy next to her, "Do you want to go over Figure Six?" Her companion immediately passed out.
On a separate occasion, I watched another intellexual in a tight sweater neatly line up five highlighters of four different colors next to her notebook. Whoever has the mixed fortune of crossing her path some day: I hope you have great stamina, because this one is going to devastate you.
So what does it all mean? Perhaps it means that the boy in the video was right, or at least ahead of his time. Maybe it means it's finally possible to be celebrated as both smart and sexy, and not just one in spite of the other. Maybe someday in the not-too-distant future, everyone will find it perfectly natural to say what Max says with genuine admiration in Avatar: "That's a gorgeous brain...nice activity."
Until that day comes, I think I need to find an extra nickel.
