The article included such choice quotations from scientists and pundits:
“Indeed yes, we found water,” Anthony Colaprete, the principal investigator for NASA’s Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, said in a news conference. “And we didn’t find just a little bit. We found a significant amount.”
“We got more than just a whiff,” Peter H. Schultz, a professor of geological sciences at Brown University and a co-investigator of the mission, said in a telephone interview. “We practically tasted it with the impact.”
“We got good fits,” Dr. Colaprete said. “It was a unique fit.”
Fortunately, the New York Times decided to omit many of the other quotations that had been gathered during research and included in the original draft of the article.
"Shit yeah, we found water," Jonathan Largerock, the leading investigator for NASA's Crater Watching and Probing Probe, said in a press conference. "And not only did we find that shit, we drank that shit up."
"We are still conducting follow-up studies," said Guy Little, a professor at Brown whose research has never been published. "We are making absolutely sure that it was water and not moon sweat. Or vodka."
"I am giving birth right now," some woman who "works" for NASA wrote by e-mail. "But from what my male colleagues have told me, this discovery is awesome."
In an unexpected appearance at the NASA press conference, Neil Armstrong said softly from the back of the room, "That's one small sip for man--" before being escorted out by security.
"Now that we know there is water there, we can start asking all sorts of other questions," said Richard G. Buurtschlung, former head of the Pluto Elimination Initiative: NASA Investigations Subcommittee (PEINIS). "Like, 'What should we do with all this water?', and 'Did this seriously just happen?'"
"Yes, um, there was water," said Sailor Moon, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "It was wet," she said.
She later added, "It was really wet."
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